Redefining Boundaries

Dear Friends,

Brené Brown, a renowned researcher, author, and speaker known for her work on vulnerability, courage, and shame, has emphasized the profound role boundaries play in our well-being and happiness. According to her research, clear boundaries are essential for cultivating healthy relationships and fostering personal happiness.

“Boundaries” is a word that has been widely used over the last several years. When we think about boundaries, we often focus on the limits we set with others. However, an expanded view of boundaries includes the commitments we make to ourselves and upholding certain standards for how we speak to and about ourselves. Understanding and implementing both external and internal boundaries is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships.

When we talk about boundaries, most of us picture the limits we set with other people – the invisible lines that define how we interact with others and what behaviors we find acceptable. External boundaries include communicating our needs clearly, learning when and how to say "no" without guilt, and honoring the boundaries of others. By establishing and respecting these limits, we foster mutual understanding and harmony in our relationships, creating a more balanced and fulfilling life.

What if we expanded our view of boundaries to include the commitments we make to ourselves? These internal boundaries, the promises we keep to foster and protect our own well-being, are just as essential for personal growth and healthy relationships as the external ones we set with others.

Internal boundaries might involve self-care practices, like dedicating time to meditation and/or spiritual practice, to relax and recharge, or managing work-life balance to ensure we have space for family and personal interests. They can also mean regulating our emotional responses, recognizing our triggers, and developing healthy coping strategies. Being vigilant about the quality of our internal dialogue and self-correcting when we are speaking harshly to or about ourselves is a powerful way to foster self-compassion through boundary-setting. Self-imposed boundaries such as these help us maintain our physical, emotional, and mental health, ultimately making us better equipped to interact with the world.

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is about creating space for yourself to thrive. It’s not about keeping people out but about ensuring that you have the room to grow, prioritize your well-being, and cultivate self-worth. Boundaries are a sacred tool for personal growth and relational harmony. Reflect on your values, start with small, manageable boundaries, and consistently uphold them. Embrace your right to create a life where you can flourish, and remember that, as Brené Brown teaches, boundaries are essential for true happiness.

Wishing you strength and clarity as you honor your boundaries,

Sally